“Treat your husband like the King he is and in turn he will treat you like a Queen.”: Coffee with Courtney Watkins


Yesterday morning I was blessed to have coffee with my dear friend Courtney Watkins.  I tell you what!!  When I met this girl my life changed!!  Courtney and I worked together at Stonegate Christian Academy in Irving TX and became fast friends.  Her heart for Jesus, people, and her family are contagious.

Courtney is married to one of the greatest men I know, Nathan Watkins, and mother of four children.  She has worked for many ministries, including Vision Life Ministries, Shady Grove Church, Gateway church, and NinthHour Ministries which took her to Belgium.


Seriously!!!  I am so happy that I get to share my coffee date with my sweet friend.  I wish everyone was friends with her…and if she had her way…she would want the same thing.  She is genuine, loyal, wise, and beautiful inside and out.  I am not quite sure where I would be right now without her.

So…stopping the mush now, and on with my coffee date with Courtney:

Me: So, this morning how are you taking your coffee?

Courtney:  With a little bit of milk and some agave nectar…thanks to my friend.  (AKA…me…friends don’t let friends drink bitter diet coffee.)

Me:  What’s your favorite verse?

Courtney:  There are so many good verses.  Oh Man!!!  Um..

Me: Or a book?  If you want to just narrow it down to a book.

Courtney:  I spent a season really meditating on Revelations.  I love Genesis and Revelations because I think if you could take those two books of the Bible, and you put em right on top of each other..they are going to give you basically what you need.  Genesis is foretelling like a prophetic picture.  Its telling everything that’s going to happen when He comes again.  I don’t know, it’s just those two books for me are jammed packed full.  The Lord downloads stuff in me from those two in particular.   So yeah, there are too many to name.  There are certain verses for certain seasons.

Me:  What’s a typical quiet time look like for you?

Courtney:  A typical quiet time is…coffee.  I have to have my coffee.  Actually, my quiet time is varied on whether or not I will have music or not have music.  Sometimes I put on worship.  I like to spend some time in worship before I get into the crux of reading and meditating on scripture.  I think it just opens my heart up and I’m able to…it opens my spiritual ears.  Worship is so key for me.  I think it’s probably due to that fact that our family has a Levitical anointing.  I think that worship is the key that unlocks everything.  So I’ll sit down right here..this is my spot..here on this couch.  I’ll pull my Bible out and my journal and turn on some worship and meditate on Him, and then I just start in on my readings.  Sometimes I have an hour, an hour and a half.  Sometimes I have 15 minutes, so as you know you’re a mom, it can vary.

Me:  If you could have coffee with anyone living or dead who would it be and why?

Courtney:  You know on a very personal level…I don’t know if it has any spiritual significance…but I never met my grandmother on my Dad’s side.  And everyone says that I am the spitting image of her.  So I…it kinda makes me emotional thinking about it because I’ve always wanted to meet her and spend some time with her.  She got saved literally on  her death bed.  She was dying of cancer.  I think I would love to get to spend some time with her and get to know her, and see how similar we are.  Um.  That’s a really hard question.

Me: Anyone alive right now that you would want to have coffee with?

Courtney:  Um.  Well let’s see.  You know, I really really really like Jenn Johnson..Bethel…worship leader.  I mean she is incredibly anointed.  She’s a mom and I think that she has a burden for this generation underneath us and I think that she has the key.  There’s something in her that she’s unlocked that…she’s unlocked something of the presence of the Lord.  And I think that I would like to sit under that anointing.  So..I think her and her dad would be awesome too.  She would be amazing to sit and talk to.  It’s hard to narrow it down.

Me:  What is your ultimate day?

Courtney:  I wake up just before sunrise.  Get a steaming hot cup of coffee and in my perfect day I would be listening to the ocean watching the sun rise hearing the ocean waves on the beach.  Hang out at the beach all day, chillin, go and take a nap, come back out, have some food, dinner, that I did NOT prepare….EVER….and watch the sun go down with a glass of wine.  There is no day that is better.  That is the ultimate day.

Me:  What did you want to be when you grew up?

Courtney:  It changed.  I wanted to a professional ballerina because I danced for 9 years.  The Lord changed that course though.  I heard from Him..it was beautiful.  Um.  I also wanted to be an astronaut.  I still would be an astronaut to this day because I absolutely love space.  Um.  Nathan says that I can always be an astronaut…that’s my fall back.  I still have that hope and dream (laughing).  I wanted to be on Broadway.  And then I wanted to be a nurse.  I had this dream of being a nurse when I was in junior high.  I had this thing in me that wanted to take care of people..in a physical sense.  And I knew that my spouse would come along side me and we both together would take care of the physical and the spiritual.  So that we could see a whole person.  Really, any of them I would be to this day.  (giggles)  I really would.  I haven’t really changed.

Me:  What does the word mother mean to you?

Courtney:  Mother is someone who can be that nurturing side of parenting.  I think that the father and the mother both should be nurturing but I think women, by nature, their heart is to nurture and protect and gather their little chicks.  For me, I just knew that discipline was going to be really important, looking after them in a sense of discipline.  I’m not looking at them as a one year old.  I’m saying okay, what are the heart issues the root issues that need to be fixed so that they become a mature and healthy whole adult.  That’s how I disciplined.  You are there to provide the emotional needs…especially girls.  I have three girls.  There are things that  a mother brings that fathers can’t necessarily do and that is that connection of “hey I just need to talk.”  This girl to girl sisterhood.  We are in this journey together.  There are so many facets to motherhood.  Vulnerability is key.  Showing your kids that you can be vulnerable and that you can say you’re sorry.  And I think when they see you as a real human walking this journey just like them, their defenses come down.  And there is a connection you can have with your child that is beyond what you could imagine just by humbling yourself and saying “you know what, I am on this journey with you.  I still struggle with that.”


Me:  What does the word wife mean to you?

Courtney:  Wife to me means that you are their helper.  But helper doesn’t mean that you are just the subordinate.  Helper says that you are coming along side and that you are a team.  Anything that the husband is deficit in that is your opportunity to shine.  You help each other.  We are one.  But the definition of a wife is a helper, so at the end of the day I’m there to help him lead us.  That doesn’t mean that I help him accomplish all his dreams and I don’t get to do anything.  I get to help him in leading us.  I’m the behind the scenes.  We make decisions together but I’m helping him.  For him he needs that companion.  He needs that person he can be crazy with.  No reservations.  You’re that safe place.  He trusts you with his heart.  I was taught at such a young age that if you treat your husband like the king that he is, he will turn around and treat you like a queen.  That is the way that God set it up, if we treat him with the honor and respect that he deserves and we show that in our home and with our words and actions…He can’t help it.  His heart is immediately turned to you, and then he is then putting you above everything else.  So you are both getting your needs met.

Me:  What does the word woman mean to you?

Courtney:  I think that we have so much strength that we don’t even know that we have.  We get to bring life into the world.  Males don’t get to do that.  We are carriers of life.  I am so passionate for women.  We have yet to fully grasp who we are and who God designed us to be.  We are made in His image.  We are the image of God.  We don’t fully understand that as believers.  Women…we haven’t fully grabbed what He has called us to.  The fact that He chose women to be carriers of life to carry forth the next generation.  That WE ARE the carriers of life.  That’s so powerful and that could mean so many different things if we dive into it and get that revelation.  I think women are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.  There is something so powerful about a woman who is submitted but yet walking in the calling that God has for them.  We are unstoppable.  That is somebody who can be used by the Lord to do incredible things.  I don’t like it when women put themselves in a box.  I don’t like it when they say, “Oh, I’m a tomboy.” or “I just don’t really like sports.”  We are trained in society that you have to be one or the other.  No I don’t think that’s true.  I think that we can possess all of it.  We weren’t created to be in a box.

Me:  Your grandfather is Olen Griffing, and He wrote a book…which I haven’t read yet, but will….called Legacy Song.  I have an idea of what it is about, so my next question is what do you want your legacy to be?

Courtney:  She put others before herself and she was willing to lay down her life to be uncomfortable for the sake of others.  Not that she was used and abused and people walked all over her but yet her heart for people was so intense that she would do anything to see them come into the kingdom, and to see them walk in their full potential and their destiny.  Nathan and I have both said this.  We want to be the type of people that people write about.  Not for fame but because we were so passionate for the Lord and for His calling and for His plan and His purpose and we were so passionate to see His kingdom released here on earth that…you know…people write about it.  You look at these people in the Bible.  How did they get into the Bible?  Some of them didn’t do anything…they were just at a well.  Lord, I want to be that.  So yeah, I want that to be my legacy…that I loved people and that I loved His heart.

Me:  I know what may happen as a result of this question, but tell me about your Savior?  What is He speaking into your heart lately?  When He talks to you what are His loving words over you right now?  What is the song He is singing over you right now?

Courtney: (begins crying…tears of joy and love.) Um..this is a tough one.  He hasn’t stopped saying this for the last several weeks and I don’t even know exactly why but it just ministers to me every time.  But He says, “You’re beautiful.  And you’re so worth it.”  This week He has been teaching me more and more about His provision.  And He says over and over to me that He cares so much about meeting my needs but that He also cares so much about meeting my wants.  It’s true, and not just on a material sense but on all senses.  He cares about meeting our needs but also cares about meeting our wants.  I can’t ever talk about who He is without crying.  I just cry and cry and cry.  Because He is so so incredibly good.  I think growing up in a Christian home, I don’t think it is anything anyone put on me necessarily, but I knew about the religiousness of the Lord and that He was there to just discipline me.  I felt He was more the disciplinarian more than the Lover.  So what He has been breaking down even still is breaking down those old mindsets.  He says, “Yes I discipline those whom I love, but I’m not who you think I am.  I’m not here waiting for you to mess up so there can be consequences.  I’m not thinking of the consequences.  I’m thinking of my love.”  I mean He is just so good.  There are no words to describe who He is.  And giving His Word to feed us?  I mean THAT’S THE LIVING WORD OF GOD.  It’s breathing.  It’s like every time you open the pages there’s new life that’s given. Whether you feel it or not, it’s going in.  He thought of everything, even His Holy Spirit.

Me:  That’s my next question.  How has your relationship with the Holy Spirit changed your life?

Courtney:  Well, I got filled with the Holy Spirit when I was 8.  I know this sounds crazy but I do remember before 8 being just saved without the Holy Spirit.  It was a radical transformation of my heart when I was filled with the Holy Spirit.  Before 8 I remember thinking…okay….this is it…this is what we DO…alright…I get to pray…and read the Bible…that’s awesome.  But being filled with the Holy Spirit…its…all of a sudden…this is the only way I can describe it…the eyes of your understanding are opened.  Where you couldn’t see…you now can see and its on a totally different level.  It’s the power that enables us, so before we are filled with the Holy Spirit we’re just walking.  Then all of a sudden the Holy Spirit comes and it is the power that enables us for this journey.  The eyes of your understanding are opened and you are like…I get it…I actually get this now.  How awesome is He to leave that for us.  I don’t know how people do it without the Holy Spirit…you just get involved in religiosity because that’s all you CAN do.  I just can’t imagine walking without the Holy Spirit….it’d just be boring.

Me:  Last question, what are you most excited about in your future?

Courtney:  What I think is awesome…and I think this is how we live our lives…I don’t ever know what the next 5 years are going to hold.  Because I think that walking with the Lord is as simple as hearing the voice of the Lord and obeying.  That could take me anywhere…and it HAS.  It’s taken me all over the World.  I think that what most excites me, and I tell Nathan this all the time, is that what excites me most about the future is not knowing the future.  I know in part but I don’t know fully the plan that He has.  I’m okay with that.  We just hear the voice of the Lord and obey.  Hear the voice of the Lord and obey.  He wants to take us to new heights.  Walking with Him is such an adventure.  I also want to see my kids be healthy whole adults.  Walking into their purposes that God has for them.

My Gleanings

Coffee with my friend was amazing as usual and stirred up even more questions that I want to ask her….it usually does.  I glean wisdom from her every time and yesterday there was a great harvesting of it.

I learned the importance of humbling yourself as a parent before your children and to not let your pride stand in the way of helping them to become a healthy whole adult.  As long as your make walking in healing and freedom a part of your life, they will as well.

To treat your husband like the king he is and then in turn he will turn around and treat you like a queen.  Rocked me.  I always try and lift my husband up daily and especially in prayer, but haven’t heard it put in such a way.  He is a King!!  The way we treat our husbands is a direct reflection on how we treat and walk with our Savior the King of Kings….oh snap…I said it.  Are we going to help our husbands with leading our households and catching their vision for them?

Courtney’s love for Jesus is so pure and contagious.  I loved being there to witness such sweet tears as she cried about how much Jesus loves her.  It made me tear up too because that love….that LOVE….is for me too.  We are all worth it, and I will do everything I can to sit in His presence, listen, and obey.

Blessed to have this woman of God to glean from, and do life with.  She is crazy awesome, and a safe place for me as a friend.  Love her!!!


Until next time…happy gleaning.

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